Standing Firm on God's Promises

(A sign of God's faithfulness as we arrived at our first village on outreach)

As for being on my own, (riding for 8 hours on a bus, sleeping in a tent, discovering the city, walking along the beach, eating, etc.), it was an experience, and I encourage everyone to do it. You’ll discover many aspects about yourself and how to handle situations on your own. Doing ministry with other Christians is relatively easy compared to doing it on your own, at least in my case. For example, Jesus sent his disciples out two by two, giving them authority over the unclean spirits (Mark 6:7). In Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, Solomon says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! And if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?” My answer to the last part as I experienced these weeks was crawling deep into my sleeping bag, relying on my own breath as body heat…:) There’s a reason why two are better than one at times.
It was challenging to spend all this time alone with God. You have more decisions to make, time on your hands, and meal times aren’t as exciting. But, despite all this, God really created many spiritual light bulbs to go off in my head from reading the Bible. This was definitely a new thing for me!
For example, Ecclesiastes really spoke a lot to me about the seasons in life, and how life is meaningless without God. On my own, every day felt mundane-- even reading the Word at times. I wasn’t having deep spiritual conversations with my friends, praying with people, doing ministry, etc. It was just me in the midst of other travelers who were not interested in God. They were treating themselves to every type of adrenaline sport possible--skydiving, paragliding, swimming with sharks, abseiling, scuba diving, surfing, etc, like Solomon in Eccles. 2. I didn’t want to judge their behavior since I, myself, have risked my life in some of these things (remember me freaking out in the sky?).
And I also know these things are a gift from God (Eccles. 3:13). But, I couldn’t help but think that when it was all over, and the high has been achieved, what were they going to find true fulfillment in? I was frustrated with myself because I kept asking God, “Why do I feel so lonely and discontent when I have you, and these people seem more happy? Am I jealous because they get to do these things, even though I am in a different season in my life? Why do I want to be like them when I know the truth?” I think many of us ask these questions and then feel bad because we feel like we fail God by not making Him first in our life. After all, it is a whole different ball game when you don’t have the company of other Christians backing you up! And God did make humans to fulfill the need of companionship (Gen. 2:18). So where is the balance?
During this time, I came to the conclusion for me that I have to focus on how much I am truly embracing and depending on God’s promises and His character. My relationship with Him has to be first, it has to stand alone. No matter what happens in life, I need to have the faith to believe He will never leave me nor forsake me. Whether I have people in our life or not, I need to believe beyond my physical senses and emotions that nothing can separate me from His love (Rom. 9:35-39). There’s a line in a popular song by Hillsong that really encourages me when I feel alone—“I sing because the world can’t take away Your love.” Above everything else, We need to have stronger faith in God’s unconditional love more than anything that’s tangible or felt emotionally. We lose our senses (physical and common,ha, ha!) as we get older, and our feelings change one minute to the next, but God’s love is constant –it’s our unshakable foundation from which everything in life is build upon. Since God is jealous for our love in return, whether through voluntary or involuntary experiences, He will at times stretch us to see how strong our love for Him is. He doesn’t want to be second to anyone or anything.

Trust me, I know this isn’t any easy concept to grasp; every day I am challenged by it. It humbled me to look like I didn’t have any plans or friends. The honest answer to “why are you traveling alone?” was an open door for persecution, and I learned to accept the uncomfortable silence after my reply. But through these examples, little by little, God is strengthening my faith. My deepest desire is to become more confident in being a “child of God,” rather than a “child of amazing worldly accomplishments and experiences.” A little backwards to human thinking, but look at what Jesus taught and how He lived out the Sermon on the Mount. That’s a child of God!